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How Individual Counseling Works

5 Common solutions for your anxiety & depression you may have tried but haven’t worked for you

Click the tabs on the left to read about each solution

Sometimes anxiety & depression will cause you to find unhealthy ways of coping with the resultant stress and pain. These ways can range from substance/sexual addiction to codependent relationships to extreme behavior around food and more. Though these ways may very temporarily ease your suffering, they are usually unsustainable and can often lead you to feeling out of control in your life. This ultimately compounds your relationship troubles, thus generating even more anxiety & depression — exactly what you sought to avoid in the first place.
The number one common solution for anxiety & depression is simply ignoring it and hoping that it’ll go away with time. This solution definitely works at times and is utterly necessary when you have a life to live. Perhaps you are a mother and are caring for young children. Or a father working hard to support his family. Or a single parent doing both. Often, you are not able to easily stop and deal with the underlying relationship issues that are contributing to your anxiety & depression.
Reading and educating yourself can give your suffering the recognition and validation that it often wants. Reading can also offer a way to understanding why your anxiety & depression happens and perhaps offer a path forward. And yet, it’s difficult for even the best self-help books to directly help you make the deeper changes you need to make in your life around relationship with your self and others.
Another common solution is prescription drugs. Though taking pharmaceutical drugs can certainly ease the symptoms you may be struggling with, it doesn’t get to the root of your problems. These drugs are designed to balance the neurotransmitters of the brain so that one can function easier in life. This may be a helpful stepping stone toward being able to make your life more manageable. However, the reason why you experience anxiety & depression isn’t being addressed.
One of the most effective solution is taking good care of yourself through exercise, yoga, meditation, eating well, and more. This solution is very helpful in establishing a positive and healthy relationship with your body and therefore your mental and emotional health. If you are regularly taking care of yourself in these ways, then you are probably able to modulate the depression & anxiety. Perhaps it’s not as acute or maybe it happens less often. And maybe you just feel an overall sense of confidence and strength in who you are as a person. Having a healthy relationship with yourself is the foundation for having a successful relationships with others.

Why these solutions don't work

Why these solutions don’t work

The chief reason the above solutions haven’t worked for you is because they don’t help you learn how to be fulfilled in your close relationships.  These solutions fail to directly engage the part of your brain that handles relationship and emotion.  This brain is called the limbic system or the mammalian brain.

This limbic brain instinctively knows that the best chance for survival is through relying upon others.  You see this as mammals often congregate together, hunt together, and tend to their young with devotion. In short, they need and use each other to survive.  Reptiles, by contrast, don’t do this.  They have no limbic brain.

Mammals can be quite natural at nurturing healthy and loving relationships. Anyone with a pet can attest to this.  With pets, authentic expressions of love and caring easily happen through petting, tail wagging, feeding, cuddling, playing, walking, purring, licking, and making eye contact.

For humans, our limbic brain does more than help us with survival. It instructs us how to be in relationship.  And it does this through healthy expression of our emotions.  When anxiety & depression show up on the scene, it is a signal from the limbic system that our close and important relationships have atrophied.

What does work

What does work

What does work is a therapeutic approach that helps you manage the painful symptoms of your anxiety & depression while also addressing your underlying relationship challenges.

This is done in many ways. It can be done through looking at the dynamics of your current relationships. It can be done through delving into formative past relationships. It can be done through exploring the very relationship you create with your therapist.  And it can also be accomplished through learning relationships skills, such as giving and receiving empathy.

No matter which way you choose, the end goal is to help your ongoing and potential relationships thrive.  Because when your relationships thrive, then anxiety & depression can finally leave you alone.

What does work is being able to build healthy and authentic relationships with others. And when you do this, you begin to know how incredibly relieving and empowering it can feel to rely upon those relationships for all that they can offer you: love, support, and strength to name a few.  Relationships thrive when you use them to get your emotional needs met.  Indeed, that is why relationships exist in the first place. We connect with each other to help each other survive and ultimately thrive.

And when those all important emotional needs are being met, then anxiety & depression have no place to grip you and shake you. You are free. And yet perpetually upheld by the web of connection that surround you.

Why who we are and our unique approach will work for you

Our unique approach

Our skilled therapists have been trained and practiced in family-systems.  A family-systems approach seeks to avoid blaming or diagnosing any one person because problems are seen as the result of the relationship dynamics within the system.

We also have chosen our experienced therapists with great care.  The therapists at Family Ties Counseling Center know a lot about how to be in relationship.  Just as important as their education and training is their capacity to be authentic, compassionate and insightful.

Our Values

Collectively, we have over several decades of experience working extensively with adults and children, families and couples.

We have clearly observed some common values held by those who were helped the most.

If you connect with our values listed below, then you will most likely benefit from our approach at Family Ties Counseling Center:

  1. Inclusion
  2. Truth
  3. Prioritizing Closeness & Connection
  4. Open to Change
  5. Good Enough Parenting
  6. Willing to Get Help
  7. Strive for Love & Respect

Click here to read more about our values.

 

 

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